The very first thing that one must do when a death occurs is to acknowledge it. If you learn of the death of someone whom you knew or if you discover that a relative or close friend of a co-worker or friend has died, you first sit down at your desk, take out paper and an envelope and write a letter of condolence. This is important especially if you are not planning to attend a funeral service or if there is no funeral service. Even if you attend a service, a letter is a nice, but not obligatory, thing to do.
You DO NOT send an email or post a “thinking of your family and you” entry on a funeral home’s website or Facebook. Death requires more from you. A handwritten letter is where one begins. It need not be long or witty, but a sincere message with a personal touch is best.

If you did not know the person that well you can simply say something along the lines of, “I was deeply sorry to learn of the death of your aunt. Please accept my heartfelt sympathy. Your family and you are in my thoughts and prayers.” Just make sure to be genuine. If you are not religious, drop the prayers.

We all have many suits in our closet. Well, maybe not. However, we should have one dark suit or dress on hand for occasions such as a funeral.

You never show up to a funeral home or Church service wearing jeans, a golf shirt, a baseball cap, or sneakers. Likewise, women should avoid sequins, bright colors, and big jewelry. Even if the men sitting next to you are thusly attired, you know that you know better and are more respectful than they are.

At many funerals today, a close family member or friend is asked to deliver a eulogy. A eulogy is a heart-felt tribute to the one we are there to remember. It is not an opportunity to get one last word in About the deceased. It is not a comedy act. It also is not all About the speaker. It is About the way the person who died and the way she or he impacted upon people’s lives.If you are delivering a eulogy, this is your chance to speak About someone in a very dignified manner.

If you are asked to deliver a eulogy, this is your chance to speak About someone in a very dignified manner. Make sure to sit down and take your time when you write it. Find the right balance between grief, cherished memories, and funny occasions. The length should be (but not more than) two letter or A4 pages in standard font size 12 to 14 depending on the font you choose, but Arial, OpenSans or Times New Roman are best.

Avoid any remarks About drinking or dating habits of the deceased and do not bring up anything else that could be perceived as embarrassing or disrespectful.

You may want to acknowledge the death of someone in a more tangible manner than just a letter. In years gone by one sent flowers to the funeral home or a mourner’s house. The purpose of the flowers was quite practical. It offsets the odor of death and the not-too-perfected embalming process. However, these days many people regard an overabundance of flowers as an excessive waste of money. Instead in the death notice or at the funeral home the names of one or two favorite charities of the deceased are noted in case one would prefer to make a memorial donation rather than send a spray of flowers. The choice is up to you if you want to make a charitable donation or not and it is up to you ultimately to which charity you would like to donate. The charity will inform the deceased family of the donation, or the funeral home will prepare a list of donors names and addresses. The amount of the gift is never mentioned.